My life is but a firefly’s flicker, so I’d better use my bri... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"As soon as you cross the county line into where all the wealthier people live, the weather is suddenly sunnier and warmer. Even at night."

"Last year I built a Courage Machine, but I thought it might be noisy and was too afraid to turn it on. So I coated it with glue, covered it with cat hair, mounted it on my wall, and started claiming it was an exotic animal I killed on a Safari in Africa. I'd like to believe people believe me, on account of it being so strange that it has to be true."

"The going rate for love is going away. And the more you go away, the more expensive it gets."

"Only a fool would say they’re not a fool. Well, I am not a fool, which is why I say I am a fool."

"Her heart is so dark, if it were ink it’d be beyond black and would only be good for writing a murder mystery novel."