"If you merge an emergency with a mannequin, that’s how I look at networking events. To make each handshake more feel more personal, I try to wear the thinnest rubber gloves I can find."
"Nothing carries meaning. People carry meaning. We are the porters of importance."
"If love came in a cardboard tube, I’d probably send it priority mail. But I’d make you pay for shipping."
"Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises."
"Anything disguised as anything is chameleon. A ghost disguised as an unobservable and invisible object is a great example. Still, that’s easier to see than the love my ex wife had for me."
"I don’t eat Sloppy Joes. I eat Tidy Josephs."