More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’m addicted to warm Thanksgiving bird meat, but I should just quit cold turkey. To me, the beginning of December is like leftover November."
"Hard at work? I’ll give you a hand—my right hand. It’s a handshake, for networking and encouragement purposes. Keep it up!"
"I drive as fast as four tire swings hanging from a tree branch in the middle of winter. I also make love with as much speed and rotation."
"The strands of DNA are like strings, and it’s as if I am a walking guitar, a musical being whose vibration can be heard as love."
"I’ve changed, and she’s changed, but we haven’t changed together. We were in separate dressing rooms the whole time we dated."