"Nobody can make you feel ignorant but you—the you from before, the one who skipped school and slept in class. By you, of course, I mean me."
"Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called."
"If one unlabeled bottle holds nonfat milk, what does the second unlabeled bottle contain? If you answered “Whole milk” then you’re obviously not ready to receive a jug of my love. So I’ll just pour it in someone else’s coffee."
"She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can’t believe her, even if I could believe her."
"She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can’t believe her, even if I could believe her."
"Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called."