I’d rather fake my own fog, than fake a steamy love scene. C... - Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

"She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can’t believe her, even if I could believe her."

"I love like a leaf in the wind. Please, hold your applause until the end of the performance (the last day of fall)."

"An exercise in unknowing is not the same as not knowing or forgetting."

"Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called."

"I want to go to Martha’s Vineyard. I have an aunt named Martha. And an uncle by that name. Neither one is related to me."