I’d rather fake my own fog, than fake a steamy love scene. C... - Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

"I love like a leaf in the wind. Please, hold your applause until the end of the performance (the last day of fall)."

"She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can’t believe her, even if I could believe her."

"If I knew what you’d do, exactly when you knew what you’d do, then I’d either be you or I’d be God. And we both know I’m not you."

"Love gives you wings. Icarus and the Challenger both had wings, and so did my first love letter, after I folded it up and flung it at my crush."

"I have an 8th grade education. Of course, I also have a bachelor’s degree."