"One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because people always answer "a deck of cards"or "Anna Karenina"when the obvious answer is "a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want."
"A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly."
"There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal."
"Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity."
"In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied "I love you back"and not "I love your back"before you continue the conversation."
"All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk."