Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you l... - Mark Twain

"Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."

"In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing."

"The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven."

"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read."

"It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech."