Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in... - Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

"NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi."

"Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based."

"Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others."

"Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable.Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work."

"Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable."