"Reading a book is like having the ability to dip a straw into the author’s soul and sip and slurp without lowering the water table of wisdom."
"One day I’ll have my appointment with death, and every day I call out to God to see if I can reschedule for a later date."
"I want to write a song about retaliation called, "Oh Yeah, and I Faked Every Orgasm...While You Were Out of Town."
"I’m trying to translate what my cat says and put it in a book, but how many homonyms are there for meow?"
"I’m trying to translate what my cat says and put it in a book, but how many homonyms are there for meow?"
"All my best writing was written before 1982, and then a significant event happened to me: I was born."