My grandpa died yesterday. I ought to know, because I shot h... - Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

"My grandpa died yesterday. I ought to know, because I shot him. So come, join me in the fight against patricide by killing your father’s father."

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More quotes by Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

"All my best writing was written before 1982, and then a significant event happened to me: I was born."
— Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over. Read More
"Education will only take you so far. To go even further, I’d recommend getting a piggyback ride from a midget half your body weight."
— Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over. Read More
"All the ideas in the universe can be described by words. Therefore, if you simply take all the words and rearrange them randomly enough times, you’re bound to hit upon at least a few great ideas eventually. Sausage donkey swallows flying guillotine, my love assembly line."
— Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over. Read More
"More people are leaving TV behind to read my books than ever before. In the last year alone I gained over two readers (three, to be exact). So I’d like to take a moment and say thanks mom, dad, and kidnap victim I keep chained in the basement."
— Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over. Read More
"I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that your house hasn't burned down, you don't have cancer, and your daughter hasn't been raped or murdered. The bad news is that I ran over your dog. And your son. And his wife. But not before I ran out of gas to achieve all of that."
— Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over. Read More