More quotes by Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

"Education will only take you so far. To go even further, I’d recommend getting a piggyback ride from a midget half your body weight."
— Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over. Read More
"You know that I know you know, but I want you to know that I know you know I know you know I know. It’s important for you to know that, you know?"
— Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over. Read More
"My grandpa died yesterday. I ought to know, because I shot him. So come, join me in the fight against patricide by killing your father’s father."
— Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over. Read More
"Hydrogenated and androgynous milky white love is all I have to offer you. Would you like me to pour it in your coffee, or directly into your soul?"
— Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over. Read More
"I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that your house hasn't burned down, you don't have cancer, and your daughter hasn't been raped or murdered. The bad news is that I ran over your dog. And your son. And his wife. But not before I ran out of gas to achieve all of that."
— Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over. Read More