"Love will find you eventually, I guarantee it. That’s why you need to buy an invisible cloak from me for the one-time low price of $77,777.77. Offer valid for emotional invalids only."
"I've been trying to start a garage band for over a decade now, but father won't move his car."
"Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans."
"Are you happy here with me? Because if not, we can scoot over a few feet."
"All the ideas in the universe can be described by words. Therefore, if you simply take all the words and rearrange them randomly enough times, you’re bound to hit upon at least a few great ideas eventually. Sausage donkey swallows flying guillotine, my love assembly line."
"One day I’ll have my appointment with death, and every day I call out to God to see if I can reschedule for a later date."