Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for m... - Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

"I’m famous for my Shepherd’s Pie. Here’s my recipe: lamb, potatoes, cheese, peas, paprika, and a wool-covered apron for the chef/shepherd/wolf-like politician to wear while serving the sheeple up."

"Reading a book is like having the ability to dip a straw into the author’s soul and sip and slurp without lowering the water table of wisdom."

"What’s the opposite of start? Would the average person think stop or finish? The answer may reflect the difference between a winner and a loser."

"Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans."

"I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that your house hasn't burned down, you don't have cancer, and your daughter hasn't been raped or murdered. The bad news is that I ran over your dog. And your son. And his wife. But not before I ran out of gas to achieve all of that."