"Reading makes you ready for the world. A man who doesn’t read is a man who is easily deceived. You must find that man and make him sign a contract, and you must do it before Satan does. Trust me, the profits are HUGE!"
"She brews a bruise on my heart, and drinks it like a beer. She calls it love, but she would, because she’s drunk on my torment."
"An empty coffee cup is full of hope. Now there’s something worth voting for."
"String several words together in a sentence and you have a language necklace. My I love you would look great with your favorite red dress."
"Instead of reciting her an original love poem using words, I think I’ll use my tongue to more creatively explore the deepest parts of her."
"Meatloaf is meatloaf is not a true statement. You can have gravy on top, ketchup on top, and don’t forget you can also have love on top--however, you must understand that I would do anything, but I won’t do that."