More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Better than learning how to speak a foreign language, is to start speaking the truth. But few people will listen, because they just don’t understand."
"I belong, and my penis, it be long."
"Love isn’t in a hurry like a flurry of flowery words on paper. It’s lush and slow to grow its aroma in the garden of time."
"If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now."But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast."
"She's beautiful, but so what? If the University of Florida taught me anything, it's that beautiful women are everywhere. The trick is to find the diamond among all the glittering cubic zirconias."