More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"2 out of 4 numbers prefer being in the bottom 50 percent. Half of all lovers also prefer being on the bottom."
"I’m so sunburned I’m embarrassed, but you can’t tell I’m blushing because I’m sunburned. I’m so ashamed I could just lie on the beach and die."
"If two heads are better than one, then what about double chins? On that note, I will help myself to seconds."
"The lungs are fishing nets for smoke, and I inhaled her essence like she was marijuana grown just for me."
"A white wedding dress, once worn, is like the ghost of a moment, trapping feelings of forever into fabric that’s never to be tried on again."