She asked me how I slept. Knowing she meant quality of sleep... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"She asked me how I slept. Knowing she meant quality of sleep, I said I slept naked. It’s true. Ask any of the joggers who saw me sleepwalking."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I use two yards of wrapping paper per one inch of present. Luckily I gave you the gift of love, so I was able to wrap it in tinfoil. Uncover before reheating."
"I don’t want to develop—I want to evelop, because it’s more positive. Similarly, would you rather your love evolve or devolve? That’s why if you need me, I’ll be on the sofa trying to evelop myself as a person."
"We made love like flamingoes are pink. You know what else was pink? My cheeks, because I was so embarrassed when I found out that she was the wrong woman."
"Either I will love you, or I will love you if and only if you love me in return. I prefer the former."
"There's someone for everyone. And when my clones get here, everyone will be able to have that someone. Prices start at $99."