She asked me how I slept. Knowing she meant quality of sleep... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"She asked me how I slept. Knowing she meant quality of sleep, I said I slept naked. It’s true. Ask any of the joggers who saw me sleepwalking."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I'm offering you love on a stick. If you'd like, you can grab it to go. It’s like a popsicle, only it won’t melt if you put it through hell like you did with you last boyfriend."
"Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment."
"It’s better if you don’t come at all, then come and act like you don’t want to be here. The same applies to there, when I’m there, which is also confusingly here, though it’s not here it’s there."
"If I were a Wild West cowboy, I wouldn’t ride a horse—I’d ride a wheelchair. More romantic."
"Do you know how much laughter is in a single bag of chips? Enough to feed a seriously starved midget for a week. Now with 33.3% reduced fat!"