"She doesn’t want me to leave, and she doesn’t want me to stay. That’s a double helping of Doesn’t Want Me, and one big I’m Not Hungry back at her."
"I love letting her know how much she means to me. A love in secret is but a shadow that’s cold and lonely."
"If two heads are better than one, then what about double chins? On that note, I will help myself to seconds."
"I used to gorge on gorgeous women, but now I look for things that can’t be seen with the eyes, but are only detected by the heart. This is love."
"I don’t want my love with her to wither like grapes on a vine, so I’ll water it with romance to turn it into wine."
"Personal branding is important to me as a person. It’s also important to me as a non-person. I am a rock."