"Some people try to change the world one life at a time. Others try to change the world one death at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time."
"Instead of a vow of silence, I took a vow of invisibility. At that time you were looking for someone to love, and that’s why you couldn’t see me."
"Last night I didn’t sleep for a solid eight hours. No, it melted a little. Damn global warming."
"Networking isn’t synonymous with partying. If you’re doing it right, partying seems libraryesque in comparison."
"I'm offering you love on a stick. If you'd like, you can grab it to go. It’s like a popsicle, only it won’t melt if you put it through hell like you did with you last boyfriend."
"If you merge an emergency with a mannequin, that’s how I look at networking events. To make each handshake more feel more personal, I try to wear the thinnest rubber gloves I can find."