"The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida."
"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business."
"Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print."
"The problem with winter sports is that -- follow me closely here -- they generally take place in winter."
"If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings."
"Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects."