More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The trick to looking ageless is drinking 55 gallons of #FlashBangWowFuzz every 4-6 hours. 24-hour discounts available."
"I sold ten bags of hellos for five bags of goodbyes. I’d say that’s a good profit. Or it was, before I blew all my goodbyes on ex lovers."
"I may not be able to remember your name, but I remember your address and what time you leave in the mornings. Your name isn’t Rob, is it?"
"Our love will blend together like turquoise is blue and green. There’s no depression or envy when both blur into one."
"In the land of Gibberish, the man who makes sense, the man who speaks clearly, clearly speaks nonsense."