More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"A follow-up letter is best when not written on the back of a suicide note. Remember this next time you’re at a networking event, unless your new connection is a mortician."
"I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who'd give me a ride home."
"A love story in six words: Hello. Goodbye. In between was marriage."
"Silver is an investment. It’s like a second-place future. Makes me want to create Michael Phelps-flavored ice cream and eat a whole tub."
"My love burns for you like I’m an arsonist and marshmallows-on-sticks salesman. $2.99 each, or 5 for $10."