"The goodbad news is she only stole half. The badgood news is she stole half. And when it’s love that’s been stolen, a hole the size of half your heart feels like the whole thing has been taken."
"My love is powdered sunshine. Just add water. (Warning: Do NOT attempt to snort it or distribute as a healthy cocaine substitute.)"
"If I were a mannequin, I'd know people would only want me for my body. But that's OK, because that's how it is now."
"Behold, the number five is at hand. Grab it and shake and harness the power of networking."
"If you own the most profitable manure distribution warehouse in the world, you might not like the smell of success."
"I love Guns N’ Roses. Reminds me of the last time I tried to pick flowers from my neighbor’s garden."