Some men have actually died from laughing. That's so funny I... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The Sacred and The Scared. Which of these two categories does your love fall under? I should write a love poem on a rolled-up scroll so you’d know which one categorizes mine."

"Only a fool tells people that only fools buy gold. In the coming future, I’d rather have fool’s gold than dollar bills. Ask Zimbabwe."

"I wish the military were the militerary. Less fighting and more reading."

"I knocked on her door twice. The second time was from the inside. That’s how love works. At first you want in, and then you want out."

"She said she loved me, and I didn’t believe it for a minute. Maybe 59 seconds, but not a whole minute. I may be gullible, but I’m not without an accurate way to measure time."