More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I make furniture that can be used as weapons. The most dangerous piece of furniture is the Loveseat."
"I restrain myself from following orders—especially restraining orders. I’d like to remind my dad that my love is longer than 500 feet."
"My hands will get dirty holding your rose-shaped heart, because love is like gardening—it’s earthy and takes work to keep it alive."
"Either I will love you, or I will love you if and only if you love me in return. I prefer the former."
"Last weekend I went out of my comfort zone to go hang out with people I’d only heard about, and I met one new person who turned out to be a very valuable contact. I should try networking at my family reunions more often, because that’s how I finally met my dad."