More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I pet horses and ride cats, because I’m a cowman. I’m too mature to be a cowboy."
"I love kiss whispers—kisspers. Loose lips are full of passionate secrets."
"I keep water in my pockets, as portable fish tanks. My love letters often get soggy with sentimentality."
"Half-assing it twice isn’t giving it 100%, but both can be yours for the one-time low-price of half off. Also on SALE now: My love. Order yours today."
"A gumble bee is half gum ball, half bumble bee, and it’s so chewy it stings. Makes me want to be a better lover and tractor salesman."