More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"You haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen zero. You also haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen all the love I have for politicians."
"My eyes are bronze, my hair is turning silver, and my heart is gold. Oh, and my love for you belongs in the Olympics, because it’s Special."
"I know half, and I know two guys who each know half of half, so together we’re altogether. Let this be a lesson in networking."
"I’ve changed, and she’s changed, but we haven’t changed together. We were in separate dressing rooms the whole time we dated."
"I ordered a beer and then I ordered another beer, because why finish one when I can finish two? Having only one is great for love, but bad for beer."