"The salesman said the sale was happening because all the gizmos in the store had to be liquidated. It was a lot of solidfluid, and I would have bought something, but the only thing I was thirsty for was her love."
"Unreturned love is like trying to make a sandwich with one slice of bread. Don’t stress—fold it in half and love yourself."
"The thirstiest bird is surely the swallow. My love is so fluid I’ll bet drinking it would give you the gift of flight."
"She said she loved me, and I believed her, because she was looking directly at another man when she said it."
"If you need me I’ll be napping in the supplies closet. The most important part of an attack is the planning."
"If you want to steal my heart, you must realize it's not a one-time heist. This theft will take every minute of the rest of your life."