More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Read her poetry before you make love to her. That way she’ll be asleep when you do. I’m as romantic as a rocking chair with wheels."
"I mined my mind, and I found no love. My heart is where excavation yields gold, and if you dig me as much as I dig you, we can both get rich."
"The heart pumps blood, a fluid, but it also pulses love, which is as liquid as a wave, and everyone wants a refill. My goal is to be a server."
"I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing."
"What can I say about love that’s never been said by me or anyone else? Well, sometimes love smells like my farts, after I eat a dozen roses."