"The waves were choppy, like Chuck Norris' karate hands. The ocean would have been still, if I weren't making love in it."
"The race is long, and I am sprinting. If I ever see her again, I’ll probably be too out of breath to tell her I love her."
"It doesn’t take a hurricane to blow out a birthday candle. Let this be a lesson in love—and cake etiquette."
"In a bookstore you can find me in the romance section, because I’m not a lover, I’m a reader."
"As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone."
"You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it resembles a UFO, or what kind of weapon you’d use to shoot it down."