"You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it resembles a UFO, or what kind of weapon you’d use to shoot it down."
"A crate full of discreet would appear to be empty. But it’s not. It’s full of my love for you."
"My love is rare, like a hornless unicorn."
"Drink my Distraction Juice (not from concentrate). It tastes like love, only not so focused on just one ingredient."
"I spray-paint my underwear gold, because it makes me feel like a winner. When two people are in love, one is always in second place."
"Last time I arm-wrestled, I broke my leg. Boy, what I wouldn’t do for love."