"You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it resembles a UFO, or what kind of weapon you’d use to shoot it down."
"Love waits patiently. In the lobby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can."
"The only drink I like ice in is water, because you can’t water down water. I’m like that with love, too. Don’t you dare add any ice to the hot liquid loving I’m trying to pour all over you."
"If I had no penis, how would I pee? How would I make love? How would I think?"
"I want the gift of a guitar—no strings attached. I want your love to also have no strings attached—and be just as musical."
"I’ve got a way with love. Away with love."