More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Too many abused beers have suffered in the name of networking. Let us find a better way to mix torture and business."
"I once tried to light a joint with a fire ant, but what did I know? I was high on glue and in the third grade, just like grandpa."
"Once a Ponce a time she made me feel like a conquistador. Now her memory is just a breeze seen in swaying Spanish moss."
"Our love went from fly to flower to butterfly, and it was meant to beautifully flutter, not sit still on a shelf like a trophy to be collected."
"My heartbeat is a pulse, and it pumps out sonic vibrations that resonate with her mind as she lays her head on my chest. Listen silently and you can hear the frequency of love."