"I made a cauldron of coffee, and I was thinking we could chug it and then teach each other how to dance by using the bottom of a floating canoe as a ballroom."
"I have a doctorate degree from the School of Hard Knocks. I studied door-to-door salesmanship. This was before the doorbell was invented."
"I can’t use my intellect to figure out how to bypass my intellect. Love lies through the spirit, not the mind, and love never lies."
"The cat hair floated in the air like a sound vibration, and I plucked it like a guitar string. Sometimes I can be so musical I’m like a living love song."
"I grew a garden in her heart. There was plenty of space for flowers, because her heart was completely empty of love."
"I give 110% in love. If that seems absurd, just know that I used presidential voting machines to calculate that number. It's totally legit."