"The wind may be invisible, but it’s colored by memories of you, as you gently blew into my life, adding motion and emotion to my still-beating heart."
"It’s better if you don’t come at all, then come and act like you don’t want to be here. The same applies to there, when I’m there, which is also confusingly here, though it’s not here it’s there."
"I asked for info, and he offered it for a price. Now I’m selling him my security services, and if he doesn’t pay me, I’m going to give him a karate lesson—for free."
"If I were splat proof, I wouldn’t be afraid of heights. Also, I wish I had a bouncy ball for a heart, so I could love fearlessly."
"Tweeting is talking into the abyss, filling a void in your life by avoiding real human contact."
"During my darkest hour, life threw me some curves. Thankfully they were in the shape of a woman’s body."