Tweeting is talking into the abyss, filling a void in your l... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"A tree with red leaves is like an old man with gray hair. Likewise, my love for you was blue, but now it’s orange, and that’s a compliment."

"I’ll mark up my services 200%, and then offer them to you at a 50% discount—because I like you so much. That’s the Mother-in-law Discount."

"I have a tongue like a rose petal, and when I say I love you, it has the fragrance of truth. My words are my garden, and I’m planting our future."

"I believe the way to master my destiny is to serve others. If I raise up others, am I not also raised up?"

"Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries."