More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"If I’m going to write a book every American will want to read, it’s got to have lots of pictures. Those pictures must also move, and all the words in the book must be spoken and available audibly for all the readers to hear as they watch."
"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."
"I go to sleep in my business suit, because it makes my dreams of success seem more real."
"After I’m dead, I want to ghostwrite my autobiography."
"In my laboratory, I use science to measure love. Whatever you do, don’t drink out of beaker number two."