"There are lots of great ideas in my book, but as a cohesive unit, my book is only held together with glue at the spine. Or it would be, if it weren’t an ebook."
"There’s truth in only having a bicycle seat. I used to skip class and just hold it out in the hallway. When teachers would ask me what I was doing, I’d hold it up and say, “Sorry I’m late."
"I remember I laughed so hard I cried. But my response was half appropriate, because I was at a funeral."
"I fell in love with her the moment she was late, though neither one of us knew it at the time because she hadn’t arrived yet."
"His shelf. Good. Noodle dust. Decaying brain collecting dust. Must insert it back in skull—what was I thinking?"
"Love will wreck your heart like a derailed train. So choo-choose your partner wisely."