"Jarod Kintz Day—it’s not just my birthday, but it should be a holiday that’s mandatory to celebrate, punishable by death if you don’t. It’ll be a holiday that honors freedom."
"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."
"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."
"My name is a half an hour early, but my body is on time."
"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."
"In my laboratory, I use science to measure love. Whatever you do, don’t drink out of beaker number two."