She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with.... - Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."

"My answer is nope, so don’t even hope."

"She had two lips like strawberries, and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I preferred kissing her over two scoops of vanilla ice cream."

"Love is like a door knob that I’ve mistaken for a shower handle, and I’m trying to turn up the heat on our relationship, but the handle won’t turn and I’ve got shampoo in my eyes and my wetsuit is dry and I started crying just as the zookeeper asked me to leave."

"I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success."