More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"She’s ignoring my texts. Maybe she’s dead. Oh, I certainly hope so. I’d hate to think she’s being deliberately unresponsive."
"To know is good, but to know how to use that knowledge is better. And to acknowledge the wisdom in this is the best."
"Trees shaped like deer should not be ridden like benches if they get stuck up in other trees. No hunting farming allowed. Fishing only."
"An empty coffee cup is full of hope. Now there’s something worth voting for."
"I make love like I make coffins—with my bare hands, alone in my garage. On sale through Thursday—Buy One Funeral, Get A Second One Free!"