More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Love is like 9.75 plus .25. That’s 10, for all of you people trying to add fractions on your fingers. I can only count using eight, because I’m too busy using my middle fingers to tell the politicians how much I love them."
"I make love like I make coffins—with my bare hands, alone in my garage. On sale through Thursday—Buy One Funeral, Get A Second One Free!"
"With eyes closed, a kiss is genderless. Now that mustaches are in fashion, some women are finding more hipster love."
"To get people to notice you, you must be unique. If I were invisible, everybody would see me for who I am as a person."
"I have rubbed shoulders with the rich, the powerful, and the armless. It’s how to network when handshakes aren’t an option."