More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I just bought a bag of potato-chip-flavored air. I also bought a bed, but sleep wasn’t included. Thank God a cup of coffee is full of wakefulness."
"I drank so much booze I was bamboozled. Alcohol makes my mind as discombobulated as love makes my heart. I’d sure appreciate it if you poured me a large glass of romance."
"My heart only grows more powerful the more my flowing love goes unabsorbed, unobserved, and unappreciated."
"Snow is not microwave friendly. In fact, snow is not too friendly at all, unless you first buy it a few beers. Then it’s just downright slutty."
"How do new watches catch up with old watches that have had more time to get a head start? This is what I pondered while I waited on her to fall in love with me."