More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’ll sit on a soda and drink a sofa. It’s just healthier. You should see how I make love. Show starts at 8:00. Tickets are ten bucks at the window."
"Either I will love you, or I will love you if and only if you love me in return. I prefer the former."
"I haven't measured it, but I'll bet cat purrs vibrate at a healing frequency. Also, a whispered I love you almost certainly resonates with heart and DNA repair."
"Too many abused beers have suffered in the name of networking. Let us find a better way to mix torture and business."
"I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are."