More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Hoping to win the lottery to escape your existence is like waiting on a unicorn to give you a ride out of town. If you’re interested, I’m selling saddles."
"When I dance, I’m so fluid you could drink my moves. And if you sip it with your morning coffee, you’ll be light on your feet all day."
"I don’t want my love with her to wither like grapes on a vine, so I’ll water it with romance to turn it into wine."
"Of all sports, wrestling is the most like cuddling. I’m all sweaty because I’m training hard to show her how much I love her."
"I'm asexual, though occasionally I'm attracted to inanimate objects. Mainly tube-shaped objects."