More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Lightning doesn’t thunder twice. Let that be a lesson in love."
"We made love like flamingoes are pink. You know what else was pink? My cheeks, because I was so embarrassed when I found out that she was the wrong woman."
"If you find yourself thirsting for my love, don’t forget that I sell straws in a variety of flavors. What is the price of romance? Good question. Today only it’s on sale for half-off wholesale prices. Everything must go. My entire inventory of straws is being liquidated."
"I’ve got a nice racket going. I make tennis ball swatters. My favorite score is love all. That’s also how I live my life."
"I mined my mind, and I found no love. My heart is where excavation yields gold, and if you dig me as much as I dig you, we can both get rich."