"To fast track your business and become the Roger Bannister of personal branding, be a connector, accumulator, accelerator and facilitator of relationships."
"Instead of reciting her an original love poem using words, I think I’ll use my tongue to more creatively explore the deepest parts of her."
"#Networking is people looking for people looking for people. As for me, I’m more of a birdwatcher."
"My cat is ignorant of the law. But then so am I. That means I am not his master, because we are both slaves."
"Every guy says he's not like every guy, thus proving he is like every guy. Show me a guy who's different, and I'll tell you to stop pointing at me."
"The love of my life has made me the happiest man ever. This ever-smiling man/mannequin is so happy because he’s got no brain, and in this way is identical to anyone who still rah-rahs for either a Republican or a Democrat."