More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I pet horses and ride cats, because I’m a cowman. I’m too mature to be a cowboy."
"My reality is it’s nighttime. The truth is I’m just blindfolded. How many people live like me, in self-deluded darkness?"
"You don’t need to have a fight before great sex. I can keep my cool and still bring the heat every time."
"My heartbeat is a pulse, and it pumps out sonic vibrations that resonate with her mind as she lays her head on my chest. Listen silently and you can hear the frequency of love."
"The love of my life has made me the happiest man ever. This ever-smiling man/mannequin is so happy because he’s got no brain, and in this way is identical to anyone who still rah-rahs for either a Republican or a Democrat."