More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"She said she'd love me forever. That was two days ago, so I should probably ask her again if she still feels the same way."
"Spelling Bees are useless and unnecessary competitions. Before Microsoft Word and Google, Spelling Bees had value, but now they are all superflewus."
"I drink like a fish, and I swim in my thirst. I’m so parched for her love that I think I may drown in my desire."
"My love has a flow like a flower, so it’s best if you water it with the fragrance of romance, which has the aroma of loyalty."
"I’m giving a free concert tonight. Seating is limited, so bring your own toilet. While there is no admission price, if you bring 100 dollars, it’s like a roll of toilet paper."