Unrequited love is the only possible way to give yourself to... - Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

"A mother’s love: the sacred relationship of affording a nanny so as to be tolerated as a granny."

"The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes."

"I admire Shakespeare enormously. But since I can’t be him, I’m glad that his marriage was unhappy and he’s dead."

"Husband: a man with hopes of being a lover who settles for being a provider, causing his wife to grow suspicious of her depleting jewelry box."

"Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers."