Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

"If I weren’t too proud, I’d boast of my exaggerated opinion of myself."

"The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners."

"I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy."

"Nothing else matters now that you love me.' - suicide note"

"Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates."

"A man wrapped up in himself always suffocates. But his loved ones will forever hold in their hearts the memory of that Christmas."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, until it stops beating. Getting ripped out of the chest tends to have that effect."

"Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion."

"Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion."

"Love your wife, your servant and your enemy equally, and file her credit card bills under the ‘enemy’ folder."

"I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed."

"Love leads people to become lost in their own feelings and ignore the world, so it’s no surprise their love for the world goes unrequited."

"A mother’s love: the sacred relationship of affording a nanny so as to be tolerated as a granny."

"Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?"

"The problem with our society is that our values aren’t in the right place. There’s an awful lot of bleeding and naked bodies on prime-time networks, but not nearly enough cable television on public programming."

"The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes."

"I wanted to have premarital sex with a midget, but I was afraid the ringmaster would banish me for unlawful carnival knowledge."

"Unrequited love is the only possible way to give yourself to another without being held in indentured servitude."

"I admire Shakespeare enormously. But since I can’t be him, I’m glad that his marriage was unhappy and he’s dead."

"Unrequited love is the only possible way to give yourself to another without being held in indentured servitude."