Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really b... - Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

"I wanted to have premarital sex with a midget, but I was afraid the ringmaster would banish me for unlawful carnival knowledge."

"Nothing else matters now that you love me.' - suicide note"

"Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates."

"Unrequited love is the only possible way to give yourself to another without being held in indentured servitude."

"I admire Shakespeare enormously. But since I can’t be him, I’m glad that his marriage was unhappy and he’s dead."