Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really b... - Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

"I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed."

"Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates."

"People who practice freedom of expression are terrorizing our grammatical way of life."

"I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, until it stops beating. Getting ripped out of the chest tends to have that effect."