When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and... - Mark Twain

"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."

"What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself."

"Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."

"Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."

"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."